R+P Post 9:Our Script

As a group we have decided that the best way to script our film opening would be with a voiceover as it will anchor what the visual video is saying and emphasise the fact that he's going on his first date and at the same time reveal a bit more about him to the audience.

Voiceover First Draft:

Hi, I’m Guy. I’ve been single for the past 19 years, which is my whole life.

I’m so unlucky… it seems nothing ever goes my way
But… last month, I met the girl of my dreams. We met online and today I’m finally going on a date! Me! Going on a date! My first ever date!

The last time I tried talking to a girl, she completely ignored my presence.
It’s awkward because that’s the closest I’ve ever got to a girl who isn’t my mum.

For the first time in my life, I feel like my luck is changing.

I’ve got to try my hardest to get this right, that means no talking about games, science or chess.
I’m wearing my best shirt, styling my hair and putting on my best aftershave.
I’m even wearing a tie.

Anyway, got to go! Don’t wanna be late.

We weren't particularly happy with this voiceover as it didn't extend all the way until the end and also it didn't really fit in with the shots so we got on with writing a second draft. 

Voiceover Second Draft: 

Hi I'm Guy, or as my friends call me, 'Starlord'.

I've been single for a very long time, well basically my whole life but today I've got a blind date and it's all gonna change!

I'm a really interesting person; I like so many different things like Call of Dity, Halo, Runescape and apparently cold showers. 

Others may think I'm a bit weird but I just like to think I'm out there. I have a unique style which I feel makes me quite the catch.

I like to impress, so as you can tell, I work out. 

I like to take a lot of care with my hair. To be honest, if my date doesn't like my hair, I think she's gonna have to go. 

I'm going all out for this girl, so I need to smell even greater than usual.

Anyway, as you can see, I'm already lat, so I better go and turn on the charm for thus lucky girl.

Bye!

We weren't satisfied with this voiceover script either as we felt it didn't really portray our character the way we wanted him to be portrayed. He comes across as a bit cocky and arrogant. We are really struggling at this point so we decided to ask Chris, our media technician for some help and inspiration. 

This is what we came up with as our third and final draft, with the help of Chris:

This is a story about a guy. 

A guy called Guy

And that guy is me. 

Bear in mind that the guy you're looking at is a very different guy to guy I am now and that this Guy is a guy who doesn't really know what he wants. 

Except a girlfriend. I always wanted one of those. 

One of my friends set me up on a blind date. 

However, good old Guy didn't always have the best luck...

But then he was the kind of guy that preferred shorts in the winter and chose to wear a Hawaiian shirt because it showed character. 

He was the kind of guy who looked in a mirror and knew he looked hot...

And you know, he really did believe that a litre of aftershave complimented that hair style. 

Problem is, he wasn't, I wasn't some ordinary Guy. 

I was Guy. 

Looking back, I probably shouldn't have stopped every five minutes to indulge my obsessions... but beating the tenth wave of zombies that day really did help my gamer score. 

*cough*

So this is me, on my first date

And not one person stopped to tell me, 'Guy, you look like a muppet.'

We are much more satisfied with this voiceover script as it matches with our shots and will help the audience gain a much better impression of Guy, and who he is as a person.